Moms -- You Hold the Key to Your Daughter's Healthy Body Image

By Concentric Counselor Michelle Taufmann, LCSW

Excerpt from Neighborhood Parents Network (NPN) blog: Moms, You're The Key To Your Daughters' Positive Body Image

How do we equip girls with a positive body image? It’s a never-ending question that doesn’t seem to wane no matter the advances of women in society. Articles in the press in recent years suggest that mothers are the most influential when it comes to girls’ attitudes toward their bodies. While societal messages, stereotypes and peers are influential forces, mothers are their daughters' primary teacher when it comes to beliefs toward body and physical mage. 

How do mothers influence their daughters’ body image a healthy way? Focus your attention on the function and ability of body. When mothers appreciate their own and their daughters’ bodies for what they are capable of— resilience, flexibility, strength, and endurance —they help their daughters develop a positive perspective on their bodies. This one may be obvious, but is worth saying for those who have any doubts: Do not make negative comments or claims about your daughter’s body (e.g., “Wow, you sure got my thick ankles, didn’t you?"). It’s even best to keep favorable comments about your daughter's image to a minimum in effort to prevent over-identification with the body. Another “no-no” is supporting your daughter to diet or “watch her weight” (unless it’s medically necessary). Even if dieting is her idea or because her friends are doing it.  Discourage it and take some time to have a healthy discussion about it.

Want to know more about how to be how you can help your daugther have a positive body image?  The entire blog can be found by clicking here.

One Way Chicagoans' Mental Health May be Compromised

By Concentric Counselor Jennifer Larson, LCPC, NCC

A little insight into the world of counseling:  Generally in therapy, psychotherapists tend to help and understand people’s concerns, challenges, and symptoms within the contexts of relationships and environments.  Typically, the focus of those relationships and environments are explored on a micro-level.  When I say micro-level, I am referring to the inner circles within a concentric circle (an example is Bronfenbreener’s Ecological Theory of Development concentric circle).

The innermost circle represents the individual person and everything inherent about this person.  The next inner circle represents the more direct people and environments in that person’s life, such as one’s family, friends, work and school peers as well as one’s home, school, or place of work.  It is not to say that as therapists we do not explore an individual’s macro-level or larger influential social, economic, and cultural systems, but in general we tend to focus on the more intimate aspects of one’s life in psychotherapy. 

Today I want to take the time to zoom out and acknowledge the macro systems operating in Chicago and the state of Illinois and its impact on individuals and families.  A time to honor Chicagoans and others who may live, work, or attend school in Chicago who are consistently impacted by the long-standing city and state’s financial woes and troubles.  As someone who lives, works, and listens to people in Chicago, I understand these can be difficult times for many who are consistently dismayed, frustrated, and down-right angry with our government and politics. 

It can be hard for some to take time-outs and breaks from the constant chatter, news, and information that circulate and hovers around us.  Whether it is a lack of an Illinois state budget, Chicago Public Schools’ (CPS) financial troubles and recent budget cuts, Chicago’s crimes, many services and programs cut, problems within the Chicago Police Department, or the increased cost of living -- the list is long, and the impact is real. 

These macro-systems affect individuals and families on many levels, including compromised mental health and well-being.  If you can relate and find these city and state-wide issues are real to you and impact your emotional and psychological well-being, you are most certainly not alone.  Everyone deals and copes in different ways, such as being vocal and advocating for change, getting into decision-making mode with preparing and planning, or internalizing all of it finding a way to distract and escape from it. 

I encourage you to acknowledge, emote, and talk about the impact of these larger systems on your life, but I also encourage you not to get completely engulfed and swept away in it.  It’s not good for your mental health.  There is an analogy in mindfulness which encourages people to step behind the waterfall and simply watch and acknowledge its presence and details, but not to jump into it which would lead to a tumultuous ride and possibly and ultimately, one’s demise.  Conversely, do not turn your back to it and ignore or deny its reality.    

If you find that you are feeling the weight of our local news and politics, bringing you down or increasing  your anxiety, take a moment to acknowledge, but then step back and shift your attention to something that restores you such as connecting with others, reading a book, connecting to your body with movement or getting into a creative space.  After all, we cannot control all of the external happenings in our life, but we can control how we cope and respond. Hope you are able to carve out some 'self-care' time during these times.    

Response to Johann Tari's TED Talk: What's Really Wrong Here

By Concentric Counselor Jennifer Larson, LCPC, NCC

Admittedly I do not carve enough time to watch or listen to TED talks.  One of my clients referenced how she will listen to them particularly when she’s cooking dinner.  My dinner routine typically entails listening to music in the background, catching glimpses of my son playing a game or doing his homework, or practicing mindfulness to be present when making dinner in effort to de-clutter my head space and take a reprieve from the perpetual tasks of multi-tasking. 

Listening to a TED talk while cooking dinner never dawned on me, and I liked the idea.  So, this past Monday I popped onto TED and scanned the topics.  Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong immediately piqued my interest. 

It jumped out, well because various forms of addiction is all so familiar to me due to my childhood upbringing and how addiction permeated the fabric of my family’s life as well as I am a psychotherapist who helps people to heal and work through their own addictions.  Plus, I was so curious to listen given the title was loaded with terms such as “EVERYTHING you think you know” and “about addiction is WRONG” that I wondered if this somehow applied to my personal experiences and professional knowledge of addictions.  We cannot possible know everything, and I became curious to know if there is information that breaks through the past and current trends about addictions. 

In his TED talk, Johann Tari, a British journalist, speaks about his own relationship to his family members who struggle with addiction, specifically substances.  His thirst for wanting to have a better understanding of what contributes or causes addiction drove him to find the answers.  His journey covers speaking with various people from all walks of life, spanning different cultures.

As I listen to his voyage, I am struck by his journey as he spoke with a street user and a Vancouver Professor of Psychology who conducted experiments with rats in isolation and within a community of rats called “Rat Park” to referencing the Vietnam War and Portuguese approach to decriminalizing drugs. 

In the end, Johann Tari argues it is a lack of human connections that contribute to and maintain addictions.  Conversely, deeper, human individual and societal connections can allay (or treat if you will) addictions. 

While I most certainly agree of the importance of human connections being vital to our biosocial-cognitive-psychological development, overall well-being, and yes, people who suffer from addictions, I have also come to recognize understanding the causes of and treating addictions is far more complex that just forming individual and societal human bonds.  Also, I would like to add we know earlier childhood attachment and social connections play a significant role when understanding addiction, so everything we know about addiction is wrong isn’t entirely accurate. 

Let’s face it, humans and addictions are complex.  We do not know everything there is to understand about the various forms of addictions spanning different social environments and cultures, but we do know quite a bit, and understanding the etiology and treatment of addiction goes beyond just forming human connections.    

Without going into nitty-gritty details, there are many models of addiction.  A few to highlight are the disease model of addiction which looks at the biology, neurobiology, and genetics of an individual as well as his or her social environment.  Some understand addiction by assessing a person’s earlier childhood and developmental attachment with their caregivers, the inherent chemical properties or pharmacology of a substance, and social evolution of groups of people over time (e.g. socio-economic status).  The public health model informs us to look at addiction by understanding the person and his or her vulnerability, the substance and its inherent properties, the vector (who brings the substance in and its incentives), and the social environment that allows and supports the use of substance.  And, the bio-psych-social-spiritual (BPSS) model takes into account the interconnections and interplay of the biology, psychology, social, and spiritual aspects of a person. 

What about process addictions where there is no substance or drug, and subsequently no inherent properties to even consider?  Process addictions are an addiction to an activity or person, such as gambling, spending, Internet, or co-dependency.  And, I have not even touched up treatment and recovery of addiction models which by the way vary depending on who you talk to, the substance or process, the various recovery approaches including 12-step models, and what best fits the individual person within his or her family and community systems. 

So, what started off as a little diversion from my usual dinner preparation routine has prompted me to inform others that we do know a thing or two about addiction and it’s more than just forming human connections.  Some of us may know inherently or through acumen that individual, family, and community connections are necessary and important for our survival, evolution, success, and even recovery, but please know understanding the causes and treatment of addiction go beyond human connections.  Now, that is something we do know.  

Using Your Voice

By Concentric Counselor Jennifer Larson, LCPC, NCC

We believe in the importance of using your voice.  We believe in the importance of honoring one’s needs and wants by giving oneself permission to be vocal in a constructive, productive way.  We believe in being authentic and congruent -- what you are saying is what you are feeling or thinking. 

Sure, there are times and situations where congruency is unwarranted, such as when an acquaintance in passing may ask, “Hi, how are you?”  and you give the proverbial “Fine” response when you are really feeling down and out.  We are not talking about these shop-talk situations, but situations and relationships that evoke something of more significance or meaning to you.  

In the recent months, we have heard many vocalize their needs and wants and subsequently -- Call To Action -- with the shooting of Laquan McDonald.  And just a few days ago, Chicago Public School (CPS) high school students used their voice to express their needs in the Are We Equal? – Chicago Public Schools video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tYBf3WA6WI

So, if you have been internalizing, containing your thoughts and feelings of late, we are giving you permission to honor yourself to be congruent and vocal.  Whether you are struggling with a family member, your loved one, friend or a larger system, such as your community or school, we encourage you to use your voice to share or advocate.  We just have one request:  Express yourself in a meaningful way that is mindful and productive.  Go ahead and give it a try.  We believe in you. 

Post Thanksgiving, Keep the Gratitudes Coming

By Jennifer Larson, LCPC, NCC

Most of us have just returned from spending the Thanksgiving holiday with family and friends who are far and near. The Thanksgiving holiday reminds us to reflect upon and express our gratitude to others as the Pilgrims did with the Native Americans over their 3-day feast.  The Native Americans helped the Pilgrims to adapt to a different habitat and culture by teaching them the fundamental skills for survival and living.  This type of relationship is analogous to other relationships, such as parents and children, teachers and students, mentors and mentees. 

If you have not already expressed your gratitude during Thanksgiving -- not to worry.  It’s never too late to express your gratitude to the people who have taken the time to teach you a thing or two or who have simply been there as a source of support.  Sharing your gratitude is not only a gift to the receiver, but also a gift to you as it promotes overall health and well-being.   This is good stuff not to overlook -- so go ahead and start gratituding.      

Connections Can Be Made

By Jennifer Larson, LCPC, NCC

On July 29th, I wrote a blog, "Can connecting with others through social media really work?"  I wrote this before Larson Counseling & Consultation kicked off its first "Let's Talk" series via Facebook during a specified one hour LIVE time-frame later that evening.

My colleague and I logged on.  The first 15 minutes were quiet -- quiet as a mouse.  Those 15 minutes felt particularly long because we did not know if anyone was present on the other side.  How would one really know when you are on Facebook?  Sure, you can see folks that are online and logged in, but it doesn't give you any more information than that.  It made me think that connecting with others via social media can be experienced -- or in our case during the first 15 minutes, not experienced.

After the lull, people started to 'message' us questions.  Good questions that pertained to the topic for that evening -- Let's Talk Therapy.  It was the first time where we 'connected' in this format.  I have to admit, somewhat reluctantly, that I felt a sense of a connection that took place.  By no means, does connecting via Facebook provide a comprehensive clinical or therapeutic connection, but nonetheless, there was a connection of sorts.  And I thought -- this is worth mentioning.

In the next 10 minutes or so, we are about to start our 2nd series, "Let's Talk Emotions" on our Facebook page. We hope to be able to engage and connect while providing some help. 

Disclaimer:  This 3-part "Let's Talk" Facebook series is not intended to give a diagnosis or provide treatment for a mental health disorder.  But, it may help to start an informal dialogue around possible symptoms associated with mental health disorders and to gather general information pertaining to personal, work, and/or family challenges.  Make sure you see your doctor or mental health provider if you think you may have symptoms of a mental health disorder.